Things I’ve Learned From Photographing 100+ Weddings (That I Never Would Have Known Otherwise)
love, lexx
After photographing well over a hundred weddings, I’ve had a front-row seat to how wedding days actually unfold – not just how they’re planned.
And there are a handful of things I’ve noticed again and again that couples often don’t realize when they’re planning their own wedding. None of them are obvious unless you’ve watched dozens (or hundreds) of wedding timelines play out in real time.
These are a few of the things I’ve learned from being at so many weddings that might help make your day smoother and more enjoyable, and helped me when I was planning my own!
1. If Something Is Important, Tell Guests More Than Once
One thing couples often underestimate is how little information guests retain during a wedding day.
People are excited, distracted, catching up with friends, getting drinks, finding seats, and generally enjoying the atmosphere. Because of that, even if something is clearly written somewhere, there’s a good chance many guests won’t notice it.
If something really matters to you – like:
- unplugged ceremony requests
- where guests should go after the ceremony
- favors you want them to bring home
- a guestbook you want them to use
- transportation instructions
- late night food
- sparkler exits
- …it helps to communicate it multiple ways.
For example, do ALL of the below, instead of just one:
- include it on signage
- have your officiant or DJ announce it
- add it to your wedding website or invites
At my own wedding, we did this in a few ways.
- We specifically didn’t want guests to take photos during the ceremony, but have some family members we knew would ignore a sign. So we had our officiant announce the typical unplugged ceremony instructions and why we specifically don’t want it, but he also followed it up with “SERIOUSLY. Don’t make me come back there.” Everyone laughed (AND honored it!!), which meant our ceremony photos weren’t blocked and we could see everyone’s reactions.
- We had an audio guestbook that I REALLY wanted messages on, as well as a polaroid for people to leave us photos with. I’d seen these phones and polaroid cameras go virtually untouched at dozens of weddings, and didn’t want to be disappointed. So, I instructed our officiant to mention it after the ceremony concluded, the DJ mention it halfway through cocktail hour, and then I even reminded everyone during my welcome speech. This worked extremely well, and I barely saw the phone hung up all night (we got 80+ messages!).
- I wanted to make sure only those who RSVPed got on our party bus to the afterparty. There was info for this included in our invitation suite, listed on our wedding website, bold while they were RSVPing, AND I sent out a mass text close to the wedding making sure people RSVP’ed to it accurately (and several people didn’t go back and change it until after this text!). I even followed it up with the DJ reminding everyone after the last song played.
Sometimes repetition is what makes the difference between guests noticing something or missing it entirely. It may seem like overkill, but I promise you, it will take the 2-4 reminders for at least a few people!
2. Never Assume Guests Will Use Common Sense
This sounds funny, and is pretty similar to my first point, but it’s one of the most consistent things I see at weddings:
Guests turn their brains off a little bit.
Not in a bad way (usually) – they’re just there to celebrate, relax, and enjoy themselves.
Because of that, guests often won’t know:
- where they’re supposed to go next
- when something is about to happen
- whether they’re allowed to move somewhere
- what the next part of the evening is
Even if something seems obvious to you, it’s usually helpful to guide people clearly throughout the day.
That might look like:
- assigning someone specific to tell guests to be in their seats for the ceremony
- a DJ announcing when cocktail hour begins and where to go (especially if we’re trying to take family photos in that space immediately after ceremony!)
- signage directing guests to the reception space
- someone guiding guests to the dance floor
- reminders before major moments, or temporarily closing the bar to make sure everyone is present for them
The more direction guests receive, the smoother the day tends to feel. I kid you not, I have seen multiple weddings where it was assumed that guests would know they should be sitting at the ceremony site at the allotted time. I ended up noticing that all the chairs were empty and it was already past ceremony start time, so I had to go grab everyone myself!
3. Pre-Plan What You Want Immediately After the Ceremony
The moments right after the ceremony are some of the most emotional of the day – and often my favorites – but they can also become chaotic if there isn’t a plan.
Guests often want to:
- hug you
- congratulate you
- start conversations
- take photos
And that can make it hard for couples to move into the next part of their timeline (if they wanted time for other things that are important to them).
Before the wedding, it’s really helpful to think about what you actually want that moment to look like, so that you can let your coordinator know. They should be able to make sure you get exactly the kind of moment you want, instead of being swept away with your guests.
Some options are:
- greet their wedding party and celebrate together (my favorite for photos!)
- share a quick toast with their bridal party
- hug their parents first
- slip away for a few private minutes alone, with some drinks and hors d’oeuvres waiting
- go straight into family photos
- a combination! (We had a toast with our wedding party, then had a few private moments alone)
There’s no right answer – it just helps to decide ahead of time so the moment unfolds the way you want it to. It’s best to eliminate the need for any in-the-moment decisions, so you don’t have any regrets (this is good advice for the whole wedding day!).
4. Consider Doing a Full Guest Group Photo
This is something I recommend to a lot of couples, and it serves two purposes.
Right before the first song for open dancing starts, you gather all of your guests for one big photo together on the dancefloor.
It only takes a few minutes, but it becomes a really meaningful photo to look back on – everyone who came together to celebrate your marriage in one place. This also ensures you technically have a photo with everyone at the wedding!
There’s also a bonus benefit.
It naturally gets everyone onto the dance floor at the start of open dancing. (Pair this with a crowd-friendly first song!)
When a dance floor is already full of people, the energy builds immediately and the party tends to start much faster. It breaks the hesitation that sometimes happens when guests aren’t sure if they should be the first ones dancing. I’ve seen this work extremely well many many times. I did it to make sure my grandparents were out on the dancefloor for at least one song, since I knew they wouldn’t get up to join the dancefloor otherwise!
Another option for getting photos with everyone is to do a photo dash. I’ve found the most efficient way to do this is to have the couple sit or stand on the dancefloor, and have each table come stand around them for a photo. The goal is to finish everyone by the time a song ends, so everyone usually goes pretty quick since it feels like a game!
5. The Best Moments Usually Aren’t Planned
The last thing I’ve learned after so many weddings is this:
The moments couples treasure most later are often the ones they didn’t script.
A spontaneous joke during the ceremony.
A hug from a grandparent.
Getting raised on chairs on the dance floor.
Planning is important, but the goal of good planning is to create space for real moments to happen naturally. When couples feel calm, present, and surrounded by people they love, the day tends to unfold beautifully on its own. This makes for a better experience, and better photos.
Final Thoughts
Every wedding is different, but after seeing so many of them unfold, I’ve noticed that the smoothest days usually come down to a few simple things:
- clear and repetitive communication with guests
- a thoughtful timeline with plenty of buffer
- a plan for emotional moments, relayed to your vendor team
- and space for the day to breathe
The rest tends to fall into place.
Happy planning!!
